Korean drama?

I wonder how and where the writers for korean dramas get their material.. Well, over the last couple of months I think I lived in one. The thing is, I didn't know the details about everything until last night. This is when I started seeing past events, and things that were said come to a clear understanding. It's odd how you can be so confused throughout the whole story, but when you find out the last twist, the whole story unravels and makes complete sense. I almost felt like a complete retard to have not seen what is so plain to see now.. I should have known, but now it's too late.

I think I've been effected by this more than I thought I would have. So many things were going through my head last night that I didn't get to sleep till past 4. If you know me, I'm the type of guy that will pass out before my head hits the pillow. To even stay up for 5 minutes past the time I intend to sleep is out the ordinary.

I'm developing this attitude that I'm trying to run with. In most cases, if I meet a period of trial, I tend to say eff it. I'll have an "I don't really care" snare on my face, and I'll feel exactly how I looked. However, this time around I'm channeling that stress into being a bit more productive. I've studied more in the last 2 days than I did in the month of June. Not only that, but I'm starting to change my view on how I treat people. For example, I wouldn't shy away from referring to girls as "bitches". You don't have to tell me that's messed up, cause I just told you the wrongness of it. Hopefully this sour patch feeling with stick around long enough to make an impact.

Anyways, I'm sure none of this made any sense.. but it's something that's obviously been taking a toll on me..

Worst dream..

Last night I had a dream. It was a dream I woke up extremely angry to. I was in the basement of this big building. The room seemed like a football field long. All the walls were white and it had some tan and wood office desks around. I see my mom standing on the other side of the room. I see this man come up behind her. He wasn't wearing some creepy ski mask or a stalking around his head, but he was wearing all black. I can see this as if I was standing right next to them.. He started exchanging a few words with my mom, when suddenly he hit her across the face. I instantly jolted towards them, jumping over and running inbetween these desks. While I'm running to help my mom, I see him hit her 2 more times. My mom was struggling, but looked so helpless while doing so. After the 3rd punch, He grabs her shirt to pull her to take her somewhere. She falls from the pain and lack of consciousness, so he starts dragging her.

At that time, I catch up to them and swing full force and deck him straight in the side of the head. I hit him a couple more times, and the exhaustion starts taking it's tole. After sprinting what felt like a mile, the adrenaline felt like it wasn't even pumping anymore. He came back after me and knocked me into one of the desks. I positioned myself so my back was towards him. He kept pounding in my back and in my head I was thinking "thank goodness I had 2 older brothers that beat me so bad my back is numb to pain". I grabbed a pen, turned around and stabbed him in the leg with it. This didn't phase him nearly as much as I thought it would. We exchanged a few more punches. I could feel the blood coming down the side of my face. He took his last swing and I ducked, ripped the pen out of his leg and swung around and stabbed him in the back with it. This time he looked like he could feel the pain. I kicked him over and gave him one last stare to make sure he wasn't getting back up. I went over to my mom and she was ok. I could still feel the strong pain of someone hitting my mom.

This is when I woke up. I woke up with so much anger.. All I could think was, why would I not have done more to that guy. I can't imagine letting someone have a full breath of air by the time I'm done with him.

But I'm curious out of all the dreams I've had, why do I remember the worst one? I'd rather be getting shot then someone hitting my mom.

What does the dream mean? If I was still so angry after I did "justice" to the guy. Is my dream showing me that revenge doesn't take the pain away? or how bad would the pain be if I didn't do what I did..

4th of July..

A weekend for relaxation had its additional reasons.. This was one of the best 4th of July weekends I've had in a while..

We went out to Gold Room on friday night. I was hesitant about it because it's never that fun. That's probably what made it so much fun. High hopes with low expectations. I've never even heard of it being that packed. Just walking through the crowd was dancing in a mosh pit. Even though I was getting claustrophobic, I couldn't help but laugh and just dance with randoms while squeezing through.

Saturday night was my middle big bro's birthday BBQ / party. My momma was kind enough to lend us her home for the event. A regret that she probably has now, because someone punched a hole in her bathroom wall. We still have no idea who it was. With her investigation skills, she figures the person was roughly 5'9 to 5'10 and was ugly. The hole was next to the mirror. She thinks they looked at the mirror, got mad, and punched the wall. This narrowed the search down a little bit, but we still don't have and hard evidence.

The party was a lot of fun with a lot of good company and good food (thanks to chef Joe Jang). It was a potluck type setting, so everyone brought different sides and fruits. It's been ages since I've had hunch punch, so I decided to make that. Along with 50 beers and 3 handles of crown, the partying didn't stop.

Sunday and Monday was the recovering / relaxing days. Just hung out with the usual group and watched a couple movies. Watched eclipse, which had too much talking and too much "love". I swear I had dejavu 3 times during the movie. It kept going in circles. The fighting scenes were pretty cool, but that's as much as I'm gonna give it. Also saw Grown Ups. This movie I enjoyed. I like the day to day humor in it. It never got too dramatic, and the movie was kept short and sweet. I'd recommend this one.

I'm kinda disappointed in the fact that I didn't get to see any fireworks outside the one or 2 I saw while driving. We were supposed to go to stone mountain on the 5th because they did theirs from fri-mon. Time wasn't on out side that day so we settled with dinner and a movie. It just doesn't feel complete.

Well anyways, I hope everyone had a good weekend, it's time to get back to the short week. Gotta make up for the day off.