A lot of nothing

It's sad to see all the people growing up around me. Friends and relatives are all passing many chapters in their lives. It's just another way to show me that I'm aging too.. Internships, grad schools, careers, marriage. Moments like these remind me of the regret I have for not going to college and enjoying things that my friends were doing. Like meeting new people and being young and careless. I know I've had my share of being stupid, and trust me, I know I've had my share of recklessness too. But I didn't get to do it with the friends I grew up with. Or on a simpler scale, I wish I could've met up with people to study at the SLC, or grab a quick lunch with a friend in passing. I dunno.. I just wish I could've made better choices up to this point in my life. I really hope that my bad choices haven't become bad habits in my life.

Starting to explore socially unacceptable things at a young age knotted some of my habits. Although I feel like I've straightened a lot of them out, there are some things I still wanna change. Like going out to clubs and bars. I was on a good pace of fixing this as well, but as I was released from watch by higher authorities, it put my life back into frenzy on the weekends. I guess it still shows lack of character and will if I can't change something so simple.

Sometimes I think that starting to work and holding so many responsibilities at young age has forced me to mature in certain aspects in my life, like work ethics. Being in charge of a business's finance, talking to and pleasing dentists, and just watching and making sure production is moving along as it should. It's one of the things I'm actually proud of. But on another note, I still feel so immature in other areas of my life. IE: my sense of humor.. but a part of me doesn't wanna lose it, cause that means I really am getting older.. and who wants that?!

Well, as sad as it is to say, I'm still studying for my license. This is taking much longer than I anticipated. The break between my course exam and my state exam has been so long. Since i had to wait for approval by the commission, I slacked in studying. In return, I forgot a big chunk of stuff. I even purchased this license tutor online to help me study. It's a package of 10-15 practice exams. If I get more than an 80% on all of the practice exams, they guarantee a passing grade or my money back. I guess we'll put their confidence to the test!

Wish me luck, I plan on taking my test fairly soon! If I don't, the boss lady just might kick my ass..

Even small things can become life changing experiences..

So, i faced a dilemma this weekend, one that i'm ashamed of. My gramp's 82nd birthday was this weekend. Everyone that's still hanging around in ga on my dad's side of the family was there, even some that were visiting from cali. His birthday dinner was in rome, ga.. which is like a mini road trip away from my place. Not the ideal saturday i would plan for myself.. which is why i was ashamed.

Having people over mixed with some plans that were already in place, i decided not to go. To try to compensate for my lack of impersonal reason, i visited my gramps at his house the following day. To try to justify myself even more, I brought over a pretty plant that I bought. Only to find it was the worst of over 70 plants and cactus that they already owned.

In all n' all I think I lucked out. It was a much more personal experience that we got to have. My brother and I talked and hung out with the grandparents, just us. It had to be the only time I could remember that it was just us. Although there was a language barrier bigger than all the Americas.. I was able to pick things out and understand what they were trying to tell us.

They shared with us deep secrets within our family that were kept from us. I guess us being a bit older, it was acceptable for us to know.

Watching them age and become more fragile, it makes me think more and more about the history behind them. At the age of 82 and 80 they still have their inner strength and motivation as Christians.. Makes me wonder if i start now, will I be able to be half the people they are at that age.. or would i even make it that far.. To think I already know what family is, I always come to realize there's more I need to learn.

Anyways.. here's a couple pics from the visit.

me and the birthday boy

me and the cute couple

Work has it's complications..

First blog.. I'm not much of a blogger, and never really was interesting enough on paper to be able to entertain people with it. I guess now it takes on a different purpose.. An attempt to get whatever that's jumbled up in my head, out.

To start with the basics.. I had a stable career with everything looking bright ahead of me. Of course there was a couple tweaks here and there that had to be made to guarantee success, but nothing big enough that a year or two of structured hard work wouldn't be able to fix. Reason for quitting was to find a career that would match my character better.. Something I would enjoy doing. Working directly with people.. not couped up in a lab, making teeth.....

So I made a bold step, and quit to enter the real estate world. Everyone around me thought it was a good step for me. Everything was going to be better now..

4 months in, and on a day to day basis i have major doubts and I wonder if I made a mistake. I turned down a high paying management job to take over my own business.. That would also come with the price of moving down to FL where the new business was purchased. But most importantly I left my family business. The place of work where i learned most of my discipline and due diligence. This brings the question that I've been asking since before I changed work places..

Am i in the wrong for leaving my family behind, and overloading them with the work load that I should have been covering?

Or am I in the right for looking out for my own future and happiness?